Forget oysters and
powdered rhino hornForget oysters and
powdered rhino horn
by sonya hammond
Pharmacies lowering prices, Bob the Dull an unlikely poster boy, rip-offs in Missouri, doctors suffering from writer's cramp, therapists gearing up to counsel the addicted, women complaining of prejudice ...
What's going on here? Could El Niño syndrome have brought on this unlikely connection of events?
No, we can't blame the weather, we have simply entered a season when confession will be good for more than the soul, when admitting 'shortcomings' [verbal restraint will be difficult here] will become the disclosure du jour, and when one drug company may knock all the blue chip stocks off the board.
Welcome to the age of Viagra.
Unless you have been visiting another planet recently, you are aware of this welcome relief for millions of men who legitimately, and tragically, suffer from long-term 'erectile disfunction' [ED], formerly referred to as 'impotence'.
Originally studied for use with high blood pressure and angina, Viagra was not found to be helpful to volunteers in that research project. When, however, they refused to give back their samples, scientists, usually terminally dense, suspected that they might have missed something. And indeed they had.
Like, taken one hour prior to sex, the effects of Viagra last about four hours [with diminishing effects ... don't dawdle too much], during which, with the proper stimulation [your choice], men are able to maintain an erection even through multiple orgasms.
With that sort of promise, there may be a lot of women out there shoving [if necessary, which is unlikely] their men into the doctor's office.
The problem [there was bound to be a catch] is that Viagra was not intended to revitalize the sex lives of men who [at least until recently] would rather have eaten broccoli than admit they had even, so much as once, failed to hold up [well, whatever] their end of things.
Apparently no one was prepared for a mass coming [I can't seem to get past this] out of an impotence closet once thought to shelter only 140 million legitimate sufferers. Why this didn't occur to anyone probably deserves a research project all its own, but once the word got out, no one quite knew how to handle problems that quickly became apparent.
For physicians, the obvious question would seem be how to determine whether true ED has suddenly arisen [or not, as the case would seem to be] in patients who had previously not indicated [or confessed] to the problem. There are, it would seem, tests to diagnose this, but from all I can gather [I quit gathering after encountering a description of one method that involved wires and a gadget to record arousals during sleep ... who wants to stay awake to count], they can take time and effort [not, fortunately, described].
With a line of 68 guys outside their consulting room, few doctors are going to spend their allotted 10 minutes of HMO patient time to ascertain the degree of ED prevalent in each seeker of revitalization.
There are, however, more serious questions [I'm doing my best to be scientific], such as Viagra's interaction with other medications such as heart drugs, which neither doctors nor paramedics would knowingly administer to patients using Viagra, but they are concerned about how many men will admit taking it.
And since true [as opposed to wishful thinking] difficulty in obtaining an erection may be a symptom of underlying [there's just no way around that one] causes that require counseling, men taking Viagra might not get help they really need.
It may be cause for further alarm that an on-line pharmacy advertises that it provides both information and an order form for the drug, and a Las Vegas medical group has an on-line consulting physician specializing in ED ... 'virtual' consultation and dispensation of the drug, based on only the patient's input, hardly seems adequate, and while consulters might feel more comfortable discussing their real or imagined problems without a face-to-face interview, they should keep in mind that they are accompanied into this particular confessional by millions of web surfers.
While Viagra, enthusiastically endorsed by Bob Dole, who participated in its tests after winning his battle against prostate cancer, will bring relief to millions of men who actually need it, anyone who thought no one else would want it either still believes in the Easter Bunny or has taken a vow of celibacy.
In the meantime, health insurance companies panic as they try to decide whether or not to cover the $10.00-a-pill cost [recommended dosage, 1 per day; overdoses may be tempting, but greed can be, apparently, very dangerous].
And women, complaining that those same companies refuse to cover contraceptive costs, will be deprived of Viagra until further testing indicates how it benefits females [those scientists really need to get out more].
Not, of course, that we actually need the stuff. No way we ever have that problem.
We'd rather eat broccoli than even bring up the subject.
©sonya hammond 1998