PROMISES, PROMISES

By sonya hammond

It is unlikely that any female on the planet really objects to the idea of men attending a symposium for the purposes of strengthening the male commitment to family responsibility, reconciling their feelings about other races, and possibly even attaining some sort of spiritual awakening.

It is also understandable that large segments of the female population might rejoice, even as they cope with mild shock, to learn that there are men who would consider entering a sports arena to attend an event that did not revolve around the crushing of bodies to the accompaniment of undeleted expletives.

There may even be a few women who would assume that subscribers to a publication with the promising title of The New Man could be enlightened participants in a movement to promote salvation from chauvinism.

While hoping that such women would not be disappointed, there are those of us who, recently faced with the prospect of a 'Promise Keepers' Conference descending on our community, asked not so much what these particular men could do for themselves, as what they had in mind to do to the rest of us if they reached their goals.

Questions do arise when ...

• An aggressive evangelistic movement calls for revival meetings structured to address what its leaders consider men's sense of confusion about their 'roles in society' [read: 'Me, Tarzan'], their loss of 'traditional leadership' at home [read: 'Where the hell is my dinner?'], the 'shifting roles' [read: 'threatening stance'] of women, and their coping with expectations of 'emotional sensitivity' [read: 'She must be kidding'].

  Question: Is it ok if we don't starch our crinolines? They really itch when they're stiff.

• A group of men's rights activists theoretically commits itself to 'reaching beyond any racial and denominational barriers to demonstrate the power of biblical unity', while remaining so religiously conservative they make the 700 Club seem positively rowdy, and even some segments of the Christian community itself criticize their adherence to a fanatically evangelical view of Protestantism ... i.e., the Bible, in its original manuscript, is literally true, and unconditional acceptance of Jesus is the one true way.

  Question: Exactly which New Testament miracle will demonstrate biblical unity to Jews, Buddhists and Muslims ... the virgin birth?

• A passionately vocal claque arrogantly assumes a homophobic deity [the devil made him do it?], tosses around phrases like 'godly masculinity' [misplaced Michelangelo influence?], and maintains that homosexuality is a sin violating their God's 'design' [presumably conceived sometime during the 'Father Knows Best' era]. The group's over-qualified founder, a former football coach previously employed by a university apparently lacking a psychology department, is quoted as describing homosexuality as 'curable' in his least offensive assessment of that subject.

  Question: Apparently Promise #2 '... to pursue vital relationships with a few other men ...' should not be interpreted quite as literally as the miracle of the Resurrection?

A local editorial suggested that we should welcome the Promise Keeper convention since hospitality did not necessarily imply endorsement ... the group's basic message seeming benign, supposedly we could ignore their intent.

Never mind that they regard homosexuality as a sin, and feminism as a movement organized specifically to destroy manhood. Our newspaper admonished us that the best response to hateful thinking was to not respond in kind. Turn not just the other cheek, but the brain as well.

From a strictly commercial point of view, this policy of 'see no evil' was fairly easy to endorse, since the source in question was expected to inject $7.2 million into the local economy. How could we not welcome an event that would encourage men to sing, pray, weep and confess their transgressions after booking every hotel room in town? Even our state university, in keeping with the biblical theme of the convention, collected its pieces of silver for providing its stadium as a venue and, like Pontius Pilate, washed its hands of further responsibility.

While women are not 'encouraged' to attend Promise Keepers rallies, concerns that this policy might camouflage some unofficial discrimination are not necessarily based on demands for equal rights. This is not a VMI issue, but women might ponder the PK's proclaimed rationale that a female presence would inhibit all this maleness from addressing issues such as pornography.

Promise Keepers insist that they endorse racial 'reconciliation' with blacks, who are welcome to attend. This is hardly a KKK stance, but there must be some reason why over 80% of attendees are white. We already know why 100% are presumably heterosexual.

And while the 'Seven Promises' PK asks men to keep are firmly and irrevocably grounded in a Christianity they consider the only salvation and the only truth, the world's remaining sinners need not despair. Alternate truths have survived intact through centuries of crusades, inquisitions, discrimination and holocausts, most of them instigated by other groups of men who considered themselves champions of the only true faith [read 'Christian'.]

Since this is a country founded on religious freedom, gatherings of those seeking spiritual fulfillment qualify as bona fide recipients of that guaranteed right. That granted, nothing in the Constitution requires us to go out of our way to welcome infestation by groups whose goals, no matter how innocuous, are charged with limitations and restrictions, and who seem determined to drag a large portion of the population back into a past that is largely mythical.

As for the women who are not invited, Promise Keepers reassuringly intimate that once men are sufficiently pumped up to reclaim their god-given roles of 'leadership', women will automatically achieve some heretofore unfulfilled spiritual orgasm ... 

Promises, promises!!

©sonya hammond 1996

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